


The Struggles of Moving Forward

by vanishingvixen



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Character Study, Drabble, F/M, Gen, International Fanworks Day 2015, Introspection, shortfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-16
Updated: 2015-02-16
Packaged: 2018-03-13 04:47:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3368396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanishingvixen/pseuds/vanishingvixen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Caitlin thinks on why she stays at S.T.A.R. Labs, when she could be moving on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Struggles of Moving Forward

They work weird hours, now. They've worked weird hours for a while, actually, at first doing damage control and then, later, monitoring a comatose boy only slightly younger than she is.

During the time Barry is out someone has to be with him around the clock. It's a rare day that two of them have overlapping shifts, and the day that Barry wakes up is one of those days. He has good timing like that. 

When Barry starts saving the world every night, their hours get more bizarre and their skeleton crew becomes almost entirely nocturnal. This is so they can be with Barry as he patrols and inevitably injures himself. Having living space (small bedrooms that were only meant to house scientists who could only break away from experiments for brief periods of time) has become essential. They eat, bathe, and sleep on premise. Caitlin doesn't even remember the last time she was home. 

It doesn't bother her. 

She doesn't have any friends left on the outside anyway. She calls her sister and her parents occasionally, but that's all. She's made it so she's always there when Barry needs her, and that's OK. She keeps him alive. It's good to be needed. It grounds her, keeps her from floating away, like she feels like she is.

She should probably look for a new job.

She could transfer within S.T.A.R. Labs without too much trouble, but they're keeping a skeleton staff for a reason and she doesn't want to expose someone else to Barry and their work. 

She doesn't want to leave Barry

It's strange, how she works so closely with a boy she's seen so intimately. She had touched him, explored his body im more ways than she had Ronnie's, and he hadn't even been awake for it. (Had he been awake, she wouldn't have needed to. Had he been awake, they wouldn't have even met.)

This isn't what she was meant to do. This isn't what she was trained to do. She's not checking off any of the goals on her list. She hasn't accomplished half of what she originally planned to do. She should leave, move on, meet someone new. She shouldn't stay.

But somehow, Barry makes it all OK. So she does.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this MONTHS ago, back in late October or early November, just on a whim while I was bored at work one day. I've been carrying it around on scraps of paper in my purse since then. I figured in honor of IFD, I might as well type it up and share it here. I'm sure someone will want to read it. Happy IFD, everyone.


End file.
